Two months ago I have asked for topics for this blog from which one responded to write on “Moving on”.
Two months later, here I am in front of the screen still struggling to compose a firm thought on this subject matter
Two reasons: 1. It’s hard not to base this on personal experience or disclose personal insights on a sensitive subject; 2. which from the two reasons are we focusing on, death or love?
Then again, here I am with two reasons to write it down: 1. Below steps are proven and tested… by me (I have died in many ways because of love) 2. Because of death, I value love more than anything.
Let me explain further:
You will be surprised how many of my friends had suffered loss in the last 2 months. How could words be enough to express the anguish they are feeling? How could words be enough to ease the pain?
I cannot, words cannot.
Losing a loved one no matter how necessary, no matter how timely to passing can never be easy.
There is that hole in our hearts that nobody else could ever fill.
The fact that there can never be a second chance makes it a lot harder to accept.
The word will always be never… we cannot bring back what we have lost and the only choice is too let go.
Basically, we would not feel such agony if not for love.
Nothing else can ever bring you up then crush you down but love.
Love will always be walking high air by a thread. It is a risk to take, a choice to make, a reason to bake a cakeJ.
Love gives so much that when it is taken back, it could ruin a dream, a soul, a life.
I guess they cannot be separated. A relationship dies without love, while death coverts love from fleeting to everlasting. Does it sound like there is no escape?
Interestingly, there are so many factors that can greatly affect how we as human “move on”: family, upbringing, circle off friends, social media, multi and print media, society, workload, passions, religion, and for us Overseas workers, country and distance major factor too. All of these comprise our EQ – How smart are we to move on.
So yeah! the answer is not even an escape. The answer is a choice. Your choice!
Imagine yourself facing a crossroad, where would you go?
- Backwards – To the past – while the more logical choice is to move forward, our natural instinct is to go back and stay to that familiar feeling (even if it hurts). Most people are drawn to cling on to the small bits from the past with the hope to bring it back.
There is absolutely nothing wrong in being nostalgic. What sin you are committing is boxing yourself up that you are missing to see the light, the greener pasture, and the beauty of what is to come.
General rule: (in this case, the rule I have learned from experience: We have to hands with five fingers each, if the negative points passes from one hand to the other, that’s already red flag – PLEASE DO NOT BE BLINDED BY LOVE).
- Left way – To let go – once we invest our feelings, we must not expect that it will come back the same way. We must realize that nothing is permanent and like time, those emotions, those memories, those actions and words will pass on the left road, possibly leading its way further or rounding up in a loop back to you.
The people we love come to our lives with a purpose (good or bad), and leaving may or may not be their choice, but they have reached their target and must move on.
- Right way– To accept – it only makes sense. When we lose something, the right thing to do is embrace the truth. The choice will always be ours. Friends will always be there to feed you with the tenderest and comforting words but if you fail to accept the situation, you are bound to feel that hard to breath, squeezing feeling in your heart most of the time. Acceptance does not mean you gave-up. It means you have opened up your horizons to see the positive side of your situation.
For our loved ones who have left us in peace, this may be the best to ease their burden or to remove their pain. For those love stores that did not work, it did not work because it will never work.
God gives what our hearts desire, but removes what can burn like fire.
See the brighter side. Give thanks and be ready for what is to come.
To make sure nothing hold you back, FORGIVE!
- Straight ahead – To move forward – we can always look back and reminisce, turn left and let go of whatever cause pain, turn right and accept the things we cannot change then when we are healed, we can finally start anew. What lies ahead is always a surprise. Could be another bumpy ride or another crossroad; are you ready or still stuck from the previous mudflow?
In the battle to move on, time is our only allegiance. Be patient, it pays to wait for the right person or opportunity at the right time (#ALDubEBTamangPanahon reference done!:). Do not rush into things. Pray and contemplate, it helps you make better choices, and keeps you closer to God. Always give your best, always be a blessing but never expect. Do not lose hope, be excited, feel the chills.
Find the inner peace, find your passion, and find whatever makes you happy. This is your second chance whatever reason have caused you pain. However never go beyond your limits. Remember we are trying to be better by moving on, and not put this chance into waste. Never settle for second best, or second choice. Always aim for number one because that always points to Him who is above, the greatest love.
Once you have finally moved on, everything else is just a piece of the puzzle that you continue to build along the way. All these struggle, this triumph from pain of love and death – these make you more ALIVE and LOVE harder!
-Carmela Samonte ❤